Suddenly I felt compelled to give

There is so much power in forgiveness. Suddenly, you’ll find it feels good to give

Waving the wrong away,  not looking to bring shame.  I forgive,  the way I have been forgiven.  Nothing is remembered when I look your way,  vanishing memories of yesterday. 

Forgiveness is the greatest gift,  it mends minds and weaves happiness; Sweetly melts once sour hearts. 

cranial station

I can’t help but write, the words need to be free from this cage my skull they’ve been  knock knock knocking. Head is rocking, or has my own foundation began to shake?There’s no doubting it’s just me  right now feeling this way, like needing to spit   e v e r y   l e t t e r   straight to your face. Get it OUT! I’m calm at the moment, purposely laying every word out in the open. One, two.

CLANG CLANG, I must say that I never saw this coming, the overflow from my cranial station, who likes making sense anyway, I have no set rules. .. … . You’d think there’d be a system to the mayhem, or at least a clock somewhere, yet my thoughts take control and my brain screams to let go of the tension- #^%&! LET GO OF THE WOOOOOORDS! They’re like tiny monsters wanting to escape and go party with each other, I’m taking the backseat on this one guys.

I can’t help but to type instead of sleep, my brain’s definitely been working hard to keep the pace up.  I’m about to crash any moment, but there’s much in mind, not enough time for things unimportant. Release of this brain dust so I can sleep so tomorrow I’ll function.

Twisty words make it fun to open up a gifted poem, but today doesn’t have reason to the silliness. No, this is just a  space to let creativity be just that.

PC

PS New All About, with meh face

embarrassed turtle

when is it more appropriate to write than to read, vice versa. do i expect an answer really. the grammar of this post is already killing me, but I’m not sure what’s coming out so I’m typing away.

Communicating threats to myself and those around me someone commit me but no not really. I’m a tough cookie they say or they don’t say, not those who see a psychotic break. what’s it mean when I can’t think or stand straight from overwhelming sadness and frustration about things I can’t change. What do I change. No , for real, where do I even start. With my own heart? Must go back to the beginning where no one wants the blame for anything

Always been the one, me, to be sensitive. Feel what others feel in their sickness, had my own of the brain not ten minutes ago what a shame. traumatic things they happen, but if we don’t talk or admit did they really go away?  For me not so much but ignoring problems doesn’t work for me. tried it. cried, fought it screamed it.

I begged my parents as a child to go see a counselor, why though depression isn’t real. but I’m sitting here though, telling you I can feel the fog coming on. I know when I’ve been triggered, it’s taken so long to realize these changes. Now, where do I go. Brain is wired to strive for pleasure and avoid pain. but I’m still playing this game life. WOW what a cliche, can’t believe I hit the trap. must improve my vocabulary so I can speak in a way that means what I say.

I am surely a powerful creation of God, but I am still growing. Won’t even share my real name because I’m embarrassed of feeling this way. Must get through it, keep going.

Driveway

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When you are on the way I can just feel you getting closer to me. I’ll always want to hold your hand, and look at your smiling eyes.
And I promise to love you when all the lights are gone or too close. I am your hiding spot and you are my rock to cry under. Never want to fear you or give you a reason to fear me, we could be good enemies but I’d rather not.
When you are happy, I want to be the one you can’t wait to tell, be the one you can’t wait to see. When you are down I want to be the one to help you feel hope, and remind you of our promises. When you arrive, I stand up and I run.

 

Powerful Creation

Pure Amusement

 Typing just to see words put down.  I’m alive and thinking, yet haven’t created the perfect sentence for reading. Tongue twisting wishing I could communicate more freely; never being afraid of being misunderstood. 

So far…

  • Honesty can make a giant mess.
    -Hold your values close, but don’t let them be a weakness. Forget telling on yourself, find peace in what people do NOT know.
  • What affects you is not always known or seen.
    -You may not realize you haven’t ate since morning because you’ve been working so hard. Okay, recognize what needs to happen.  Perhaps the stress of your own health or another is seriously weighing you down. No one sees this, use that to your advantage to push through your task, or take a moment to let another person in so you can feel validated.  How about when nothing is seeming to go right, but others expect you to stand tall no matter what… All that is required of you is piling up and you can’t take it any longer? Don’t, take your well needed rest and then return feeling fresh, or at least less tired and hungry.
  • Using your voice is powerful.
    -How you speak to anyone throughout the day tells them that A. You respect them and are listening, or B. Nothing else matters other than what’s going through your head. You may actually not care, but if it’s someone you love try to pay attention to their reaction of your tone. Same though if you’re at work, and it would be professional to take the time to respond carefully. How do others’ tones affect your reaction to what’s said?
  • Writing things down will help you create what you envision. 
    -“Don’t try, DO!” I love this because instantly something HAS changed. It’s the attitude of achievement. Yes I have and yes I can. Yes I will.