I can’t help but write, the words need to be free from this cage my skull they’ve been knock knock knocking. Head is rocking, or has my own foundation began to shake?There’s no doubting it’s just me right now feeling this way, like needing to spit e v e r y l e t t e r straight to your face. Get it OUT! I’m calm at the moment, purposely laying every word out in the open. One, two.
CLANG CLANG, I must say that I never saw this coming, the overflow from my cranial station, who likes making sense anyway, I have no set rules. .. … . You’d think there’d be a system to the mayhem, or at least a clock somewhere, yet my thoughts take control and my brain screams to let go of the tension- #^%&! LET GO OF THE WOOOOOORDS! They’re like tiny monsters wanting to escape and go party with each other, I’m taking the backseat on this one guys.
I can’t help but to type instead of sleep, my brain’s definitely been working hard to keep the pace up. I’m about to crash any moment, but there’s much in mind, not enough time for things unimportant. Release of this brain dust so I can sleep so tomorrow I’ll function.
Twisty words make it fun to open up a gifted poem, but today doesn’t have reason to the silliness. No, this is just a space to let creativity be just that.
PS New All About, with meh face
when is it more appropriate to write than to read, vice versa. do i expect an answer really. the grammar of this post is already killing me, but I’m not sure what’s coming out so I’m typing away.
Communicating threats to myself and those around me someone commit me but no not really. I’m a tough cookie they say or they don’t say, not those who see a psychotic break. what’s it mean when I can’t think or stand straight from overwhelming sadness and frustration about things I can’t change. What do I change. No , for real, where do I even start. With my own heart? Must go back to the beginning where no one wants the blame for anything
Always been the one, me, to be sensitive. Feel what others feel in their sickness, had my own of the brain not ten minutes ago what a shame. traumatic things they happen, but if we don’t talk or admit did they really go away? For me not so much but ignoring problems doesn’t work for me. tried it. cried, fought it screamed it.
I begged my parents as a child to go see a counselor, why though depression isn’t real. but I’m sitting here though, telling you I can feel the fog coming on. I know when I’ve been triggered, it’s taken so long to realize these changes. Now, where do I go. Brain is wired to strive for pleasure and avoid pain. but I’m still playing this game life. WOW what a cliche, can’t believe I hit the trap. must improve my vocabulary so I can speak in a way that means what I say.
I am surely a powerful creation of God, but I am still growing. Won’t even share my real name because I’m embarrassed of feeling this way. Must get through it, keep going.
If I am who I wanna be then what’s the mystery
when I explain to thee, that I have what I want.
Why’s it conditional, like “Do anything”, but not this thing though.
Tough love, hard truth, but who’s truth though?
Questions I’m having because I know who I am.
Since I’ve decided, others won’t like what I am, but at least I know it finally myself
Since I am who I want to be, I’ll continue to grow and feel peace through it all
keeping it simple while dancing and saying “yo”
That’s just me though, no real consistency but being thrown in the oven soon
to help me rise into the tasty artist I aspire to be,
and feel inspired by what touches me, honestly, that’s how I want to live
There’s no hope for me, working away from home, ready to run away. I need to be
painting and creating, designing through words or on paper. Someone please help me get
CANVAS. I have a map in my head
I have no idea where anything is at, yet no desire to figure that out.
What does a friend mean to me:
Evaluating my friend choices through childhood; I can see why my parents would want to know who my friends’ parents were. The influence is real. Truly, good support from family and friends can improve mental health. Harmful habits are tempting when there is no bond to good habits (or not enough). Family can build you up for success or failure. Bonds to RELIABLE humans change the way we live. Instead of being around negativity, reach and hold on to those doing well and whom want well for you. Socialize and communicate, go hug a friend. 🙂
Be who you need to be even if no one else is on your page. Go after what your heart desires, because only you can make YOU truly happy. Make decisions and opinions yourself. YOU make YOU who you are.
Who do you want to be?
When I start to think about home I imagine a clean and fresh scent as I walk through the front door. The first thing I want to do is remove my shoes to feel the solid floor. I breathe in a silence that sings serenity, and my muscles relax as I feel soothed already.
When I sit down, cluttering the table now with all that I brought through the door, I drift away into a peaceful rest that turns into sleep for an hour or more. Awake, I find my family beside me, mess cleaned caused by my arrival, with a smell in the air of fresh food. In the kitchen I look out to the garden, searching for the sight of my only son. I smile when I find him laughing with friends in the yard I’ve worked hard to give him- room for creativity, freedom to be loud and move.
When the dark of the evening settles, I feel a hug come from behind my waist and my husband starts to rub up and down my arms. I was tired from the day, but now there are no worries, not to be thought of anymore. The bedroom is inviting, the bubble bath hot with flames lining the tub, with flowers, too. When I slide underneath my covers I feel safe knowing the people I love are under my roof. The comforter heavy on my body feeling therapeutic in the cool under the whispering fan. I sleep and I dream of the days I’m home.