when is it more appropriate to write than to read, vice versa. do i expect an answer really. the grammar of this post is already killing me, but I’m not sure what’s coming out so I’m typing away.
Communicating threats to myself and those around me someone commit me but no not really. I’m a tough cookie they say or they don’t say, not those who see a psychotic break. what’s it mean when I can’t think or stand straight from overwhelming sadness and frustration about things I can’t change. What do I change. No , for real, where do I even start. With my own heart? Must go back to the beginning where no one wants the blame for anything
Always been the one, me, to be sensitive. Feel what others feel in their sickness, had my own of the brain not ten minutes ago what a shame. traumatic things they happen, but if we don’t talk or admit did they really go away? For me not so much but ignoring problems doesn’t work for me. tried it. cried, fought it screamed it.
I begged my parents as a child to go see a counselor, why though depression isn’t real. but I’m sitting here though, telling you I can feel the fog coming on. I know when I’ve been triggered, it’s taken so long to realize these changes. Now, where do I go. Brain is wired to strive for pleasure and avoid pain. but I’m still playing this game life. WOW what a cliche, can’t believe I hit the trap. must improve my vocabulary so I can speak in a way that means what I say.
I am surely a powerful creation of God, but I am still growing. Won’t even share my real name because I’m embarrassed of feeling this way. Must get through it, keep going.